There's over $1,000 in the pot this year and it seems every team has a chance to win in it all (well except for maybe Larson and Ben). Even if your Fantasy team stinks it looks like the Vikings are playoff bound for the second straight season.
Good luck everyone and Skol Vikings! Whatever happens, let's hope it's not Tambo or Pasi hoisting the championship trophy in week 16. Here's how I rank this years draft...
Power Rankings (through Week 4):
1.) Big Poppa Pump (2-2)
Jake, you don't know how lucky you are sometimes. No kids, no nagging girlfriend/wife - you are living the dream, bro. Just in case you're wondering what you're missing out on - I found a picture of you in a parallel universe where you're married with two kids:
*At least you finally got ditched the Interlachen hat
With all that extra spare time, you must have done some serious Fantasy research. It definitely paid off as you landed three top RBs in LeSean McCoy, Le'Veon Bell and Matt Jones (wow!). You also gave me my favorite moment of the draft when you predictably took Drew "I bet Jake drafts him" Brees in the fifth round. Even though your record is only 2-2, you are the points leader through four weeks and I can see the "Jake Luck" taking you deep into the playoffs. Congrats dude on earning the #1 spot.
2.) NEPothead Could Win (3-1)
Now all I need is Jericho Cotchery...
Despite getting super drunk and sticking with my standard drafting procedure (no douchebag Packers, Cowboys or Seahawks and none of the twelve penalty shot players), I'd say a came out pretty good. I snagged two top RB's early with David Johnson and Devonta Freeman and got a steal on underrated receivers Eric Decker and Micheal Crabtree. I even gave into temptation and drafted the two of the biggest icons in wrestling ("Stone Cold" Tavon Austin and Chris "Hollywood" Hogan).
3.) Player Haters (2-2)
Get used to this if Tambo wins again, guys.
As much as I hate to admit it, you have a pretty good team dude. You have the league's top receiver in Antonio Brown and by FAR the most depth at RB in the league (Melvin Gordon, Mark Ingram, Jerick McKinnon, Charles Sims and Giovani Bernard - all 10+ points projected each week).
Good job bro, but I'll still be rooting against you every week. If you can somehow win a third championship - you'll turn into a pompous asshole - and no one wants that. Maybe you could give Larson or Ben some of your bench players to help even things out.
4.) VD's Revenge (3-1)
The face Thug made when he saw who Pasi drafted...
Picture this scenario; you skipped lunch and you're super excited to go to Taco Bell after work. You're starving. You order a Nachos Bell Grande and when you finally get your food you realize there's a pubic hair in your nachos.
Well that's how Thug must have felt waiting all Summer for fantasy football only to find out that Pasi drafted Aaron Rodgers. I know he's a pretty good quarterback and everything, but I'd rather eat a pube filled Nachos Bell Grande than have to cheer for Rodgers all year. I don't blame Thug for selling this team back to Pasi - I would've done the same thing.
5.) Tuning Up The Band (2-2)
I'm not your boy toy...
Luca, you've got a stacked team with two of the most badass receivers in the league; DeAndre Hopkins and Brandon Marshall. You also had one of the top "steals of the draft" with Isaiah Crowell in the sixth round (64 points through four weeks!). You just need to give up on Andrew Luck and give Matt Ryan the starting job. A great fantasy mind knows when to cut their losses and go with the better player.
With Matt Ryan at the helm, you could be the dark horse that wins it all this year.
6.) Uncle Norv's Lap (3-1)
Jay Ajayi: the worst pick in this year's draft
Even though you had the worst pick in the draft (more on that in a sec), you've managed to pull off triple digits every week so far. You have some heavy hitters including A.J. Green, Jordy Nelson and Latavius Murray, but I have to rip on you for taking Jay Ajayi (projected for two points this week - and every other week, lol) in the fifth round.
Here's a list of players you could have drafted instead of Jay Ajayi; Stephon Diggs, Isaiah Crowell, Duke Johnson, Jr, Allen Hurns, Lagerrette Blunt, T.J. Yeldon, Gary Barnidge, Michael Crabtree, Deangelo Williams, Tom Brady, John Brown...Even though your record stands at 3-1, I see you finishing around .500 at best...
7.) Moop (3-1)
Charcondrick West
Philip Rivers, C.J. Anderson, Jordan Matthews, Todd Gurly, Julian Edelman - not bad, bro. Except for "Chokesondick West" - who has a whopping 63 yards and no touchdowns though four weeks. That's only 63 more yards than Jake's cat, Dexter has so far this season.
8.) I'm a Crepe (2-2)
*Minus ten points for naming your team after a Radiohead song
Even though your team is full of players I hate (Frank Gore, Eddie Lacy, Doug Baldwin and Delaney Walker = barf) I have to give you credit - you got a lot of value on most of these names.
So while I'm not really digging your team, I'd still rather listen to Casey sing an acoustic version of 'Karma Police' than have to face you in the playoffs.
9.) Purple Stuff (1-3)
"Hey Nate. I made it extra soapy for you."
Nate, you had a good draft overall and got some great players including Cam Newton, Odell Beckham, Jr and Travis Benjamin. But you lost me when you took Soapy Weiner in the sixth round. Your playoff hopes are a lot like the picture above - extra soapy - as they will probably slip right out of your grasp.
You also need some help at RB. If you can trade Rivers or Brady for another 'back - you could save your season. I'd hit up Tambo - he's stacked with RBs but starting Matt Stafford (8 points this week) at QB.
10.) The Destroyer (1-3)
"My bad for getting hurt and missing another full year. I still get paid, right?"
I'm sorry dude, but losing Adrian Peterson takes you from the middle of the pack to a bubble playoff team - at best. Drafting AP in the first round has left you scrambling for RBs and now you don't have even one 'back that's consistently projected for double digits (Tambo has FIVE).
The way things are looking right now, the only thing you'll be destroying is your computer screen when you're mathematically eliminated from the playoffs by week 12.
11.) Pees Sitting Down Guy (1-3)
Blake Bortles' senior pictures make me want to punch him in the face...
Blake (Bortles), Spencer (Ware) and Brent (Celek)? What is this shit? It looks like you took on the opposite of my strategy and drafted the biggest group of nerds available. On top of that you wasted a high pick on the most overrated player in Fantasy - Dez Bryant - who only has two touchdowns in his last seven regular season games (dating back to last season). Maybe you should stick to Fantasy Baseball...
12.) Wings of Pastrami (1-3)
Duke Johnson, Jr six weeks before training camp
Dude, it's not looking good, Larson. You took Jamaal Charles way too early and your receivers are easily the worst in the league; Tajae Sharpe, Tyler Locket, Michael Floyd, Sammy Watkins and Quincy Enunwa have a combined three touchdowns through four weeks.
It doesn't get much better at RB, where you only have one 'back (Ezekiel Elliot) that's consistently projected for double digits (again, Tambo has FIVE). I'd suggest making a trade, but I don't see any players on your team that he would want.
No comments:
Post a Comment